Monthly Archives: May 2017

Should we just elope?

Jason and I have officially reached the point where eloping sounds like a great idea. 

Just imagine it. We would be able to have a private ceremony… no fussiness about picking bridesmaids, and matching dresses, and who stands where, and so on…. just Jason and I.

We would be able to have it as lengthy or short as we want, I could still wear a pretty white dress, and we would have complete control. It would be intimate, and special, and something that only he and I share.

Plus, it would take away a lot of the expenses. Let’s face it, that is one of the biggest appeals to eloping.  Even if we had a big party to celebrate when we get back… no sit down dinner means less mulah.

So Jason and I actually really considered this idea. But don’t worry, we decided against it. Why?

I could feel the heartbreak coming from my family and friends.

I know, I know. A wedding is not supposed to be about everyone else. But it actually is…

Part of a traditional ceremony includes your close family and friends. Why? Because all of the people that you surround yourself with are the people that lead you to this very moment in your life. Marriage is not only about the union of two people but the union of two families. If we didn’t have our families and friends up there with us, it wouldn’t feel like a real union. When I marry Jason, I don’t just accept Jason in my life. I am accepting all of his friends and all of his family to become a part of my life, too.

Plus, this day means a lot to not only Jason and I, but to our parents. They are overseeing their children walk through a huge milestone. When I discussed eloping with my father, he said, “So your Poppy and I won’t get to walk you down the aisle?” In that moment, I knew that I had to include them in my ceremony. I would be truly letting down my family if Jason and I were to run away.

I didn’t actually want to elope, I just had to pinpoint why I was feeling so anxious about having the ceremony so publicized. 

After chatting with many of my friends about this, I came to my first conclusion that I am just fearful of hurting anyone’s feelings. I am stressing out about the bridal party. I have had many friends in my life, and they all mean something so special to me. I value each and every one of my friendships. Whether they are the type of friend that I only talk to every once in awhile, or the ones I talk to every day… I don’t want to leave anyone out.

I also hate the thought of lining my friends up, and making them buy expensive dresses, and the whole nine yards…. I know this is a normal thing, but I feel so strange about it. I just wish it were simpler.

We are still struggling to figure out the solution to this issue. We have been through many ideas and alternatives. Nothing seems quite right yet. I am a planner, I like to know every detail of every day, so this is very frustrating. I would love a simple answer, but I know it won’t be simple.

But what does feel great is knowing that we don’t have to do anything. We don’t have to play by the rules if we don’t want to. Sure, we want to include our family and friends but Jason and I can do so however we please.

One thing I do know for sure, we are not eloping.