Blue Birds Fly….

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When I heard the news I was in the middle of Charleston City Market, and I immediately started to tear up.

…. Why? WHY!? I wanted to scream. But we were in the middle of a crowded market. I felt overwhelmed with sadness.

Those poor people… their families… what will they do? Why did they deserve this? They didn’t.

I was speechless… I didn’t even want to finish reading the story.

The story has been marinating in my mind all day. I tried not to let it ruin my day because after all, I am on vacation and I should try to enjoy myself… But I can’t help but to continue think about it. I feel a weight in my heart that can’t be lifted.

Those people who lost their lives… they could have been some of my closest friends. I have always been close to many people of the LGBT community. I grew up only knowing that love is love, and that you should be free to love whoever you want, no matter what sex, gender, or race. I will never understand those who think otherwise. It is love. There is no need for hatred or judgment. It is just love, there is no reason to fear it.

Who are you to tell others how they should love? I could probably write about that for a long time. Acceptance of all kinds of love is the only thing that makes sense to me.

This horrible incident happened only an hour away from where I call home, which is why I think this hit me so hard. It makes my heart hurt to think that this is the kind of world we live in. Someone that lives an hour away from me had so much hate in his heart that he murdered 50 people, and hurt numerous others, simply because he didn’t accept the way these people love. This makes me sick to my stomach.

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When we got back to our Air Bnb, I had a moment to lay in bed alone. I broke down. I couldn’t help the tears from flowing out of my eyes. They were all innocent, every single one. I can’t understand the amount of hate it would take to commit such a horrible crime. I can’t even fathom how much negativity you would have to have built up in your heart to do this… how could this happen? I am lucky. I am lucky that I was not there. I am lucky that all of my friends are safe in their beds.

I still don’t really know how to feel, but I know that our community will stand together in this. When I saw how many people were waiting in line to donate blood to the victims… it gave me some hope. There are good people in this world. They do outnumber those who have hate in their heart.

This is patchy, and I am sorry, but I can’t quite collect my thoughts or my feelings. My heart is sad, and my mind is on those 50 lost innocent souls.

That’s all I have for now.

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