As you all probably know, I proudly identify myself as a feminist. A feminist is simply someone who believes that men and women should have equal opportunities and rights. (No fluff or politics added.)
The idea of taking a man’s last name when you get married has lived as a tradition within the patriarchy for quite some time. When you dig into the history of why women take a man’s last name.. it is anything but feminist. Historically, a woman would take a man’s last name because women were thought of as a man’s property. (Which I am definitely not a fan of…) When looking at the subject from the perspective of the church, a woman would take a man’s last name because when you marry, you become one. (And I am not in the business of loosing my individuality.)
Marriage certainly does not represent the ideas of property and loss of self today, but we still have the tradition lingering around. So the question is…what does it represent today?
Many feminists would probably question why I would want to take the Blount name and give up Faulconer for good… but to be blount… becoming a Blount is so meaningful to me. 😉
I don’t want to change my last name because I have conservative, traditional, or religious reasoning. Jason has told me on numerous occasions that he doesn’t care what I choose to do, so his feelings don’t weigh in…. but I will most definitely be becoming a Blount.
I am choosing to become a Blount because:
1. We are not becoming one, but we are becoming a team.
“We are a team,” is something that I say to Jason often. He and I are both pretty stubborn people, and don’t like to ask for help. However, life isn’t always easy, and sometimes you just need to ask. It is reassuring to remember that both of us are both working towards a common goal, and we are there to lift each other up. When we get married, we don’t plan on us mushing into one. We fell in love with the separate people that we are, and that will not change. I will stay Megan, and Jason will stay Jason. But, we are both on the same team, and now we are making it official.
2. I do not feel dominated by my man.
I do not ever ever feel as though Jason tries to show dominance over me. Jason is my perfectly balanced counterpart and treats me as an equal person. If I did feel threatened, or feel like I was being diminished, I might put up a fight to keep my identity as a Faulconer. However, I don’t have any kind of insecurity about my relationship with Jason. I certainly don’t feel like I am going to be any less equal if I change my last name to Blount. We are a team, we balance each other, and…
3. We are becoming a family.
The most important part of my marriage to Jason is that he is becoming my family. We will be The Blounts, and our children will take our name. I don’t look at it as taking his last name, I look at it as Blount becoming our family name. Honestly, if I had some sort of attachment to my last name, I might consider asking Jason to take my last name, but I like the sound of Blount better! (And that’s perfectly fine!)
Ultimately, changing your name is an extremely personal decision. I don’t think it should be determined by societal pressures from either side of the fence. I don’t need to keep my maiden name to keep my individuality, and I don’t need my last name to feel equal to Jason. I also don’t need to change my last name because of tradition, or because it is what I am “supposed” to do.
I am changing my last name to Blount because it makes sense for both Jason and I. Jason is my home, and my family, and we are both so happy to commit our lives to each other.
Let’s Be Blount.